Comedians

There are signs everywhere you look and walk, and John Crist is over them. The popular funnyman shares that he is completely done with all the signage. Watch the short and hysterical clip to see John mention his hatred of all the signage in society and why most of it is entirely unnecessary. It's always a good idea to read, regardless of age or stage in life. Reading, after all, is fundamental. Carefully reading the written word is how we obtain knowledge, facts and figures. If we didn't read and simply disregarded information, society would be much worse off, considerably dumber and more ignorant. Reading can and does also keep us safe and away from harm, especially when the words warn people about a potentially dangerous situation. Walk or drive down the road, and you'll see several signs warning you to exercise caution or to avoid this or that situation. But when do the signs become too much? When should people be able to use some common sense? In a clip posted on YouTube, John Crist shares why we, as a society, have reached that line of too many signs. He adds that we really don't need signs for every roadway, curb and gorilla enclosure. He hilariously adds that common sense should be used at some point. Have you ever been outside? he said. Everywhere you go, there's a sign because people are just on the verge of death, everywhere. No running. No walking. Here's a curb, step up! Ok! Because there used to be no sign. People are tripping, dying. We gotta get a sign on the curb! People are dying! How did we even cross intersections before? Later in the clip, John mentions that one common sign is unnecessary. Everywhere you go outside, everywhere, there's a sign, he added. You ever seen this sign? 'Slippery when wet. Slippery when wet.' Who hasn't pieced this together yet? Wet stuff, I'm sorry, wet stuff is slippery. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

Nate Bargatzes awkward breakfast moment will have you laughing out loud. The popular funnyman was trying to enjoy the most important meal of the day when something unexpected happened. Watch the short and hysterical clip to listen to Nate discuss what occurred and how he responded. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, at least thats what is constantly said. In addition to being the meal with the most importance placed on it, Id also guess that its probably the most skipped meal of the day. Its easy, especially if skipping it means a few more minutes of sleep. But if someone foregoes breakfast, they will miss out on some of the most delicious, mouth-watering food imaginable. Pancakes, waffles, fruit, cereal, oatmeal, muffins, eggs, sausage, bacon it does not get any better. Anyone who says otherwise is simply wrong. In a clip posted on YouTube, Nate was attempting to enjoy breakfast when that came to a shrieking and pretty hilarious stop. In the video, Nate explains that he and his family stayed at a hotel and he was enjoying the continental breakfast. He was in line, patiently waiting, when the person in front of him did something unexpectedly hilarious. I go down to breakfast, he said. They have the breakfast buffet. So, were all going through it. This little girls in front of me, and she has waffles. So, they, she gets a waffle and theres a coffee pots worth of syrup sitting on a plate. So, its like you pour it, then you leave it back on the plate, and then you go and eat your breakfast. So, she gets the syrup, and she just takes it to her table. Nate saw the little girl walk away with the syrup that was supposed to be for everyone, which put him in an awkward position when several people, including hotel staff, came by looking for it. And I know where its at, but Im not trying to get involved, you know? he said. I didnt wake up and just think, I hope I get to talk to everybody this morning. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

A comedian has instructed husbands on what to do when wives say this phrase. Funnyman Jeff Allen is passing along the helpful and hilarious marriage advice during this uncomfortable and awkward situation. Watch the short and hysterical clip to hear what husbands should do and say when their wives utter this statement. Marriage is not easy. In fact, its often quite challenging, but anything worthwhile in this life is typically not easy. Marriage requires both parties to put in time, work and an incredible amount of effort. Also, there must be 100 percent commitment from both, or the relationship will not last. Difficulties and challenges will arise in every marriage. Thats a simple fact, and there is no getting around it. Disagreements and arguments are part of every relationship, and that certainly includes a marriage. In a clip posted on YouTube, a comedian offers up some hilarious marital advice to husbands for whenever their wives state this often-heard phrase. The clip begins with him and his wife having dinner, and the mood is a little tense, to say the least. After her unexpected move when he asks her for a knife, Jeff quickly surmises that something is troubling his better half. So, I ask, Something on your mind? Jeff asked his wife. She says, Im fat! Theres not a man in this room knows you cant respond to that. A twitch of the eye will get you killed at this point. If youre a newlywed, trust me, if your wife ever says shes fat, you become mannequin man. Hilariously, Jeff then does his best impression of a mannequinsomeone who sits completely still, with absolutely no expression and who does not move a muscle. You dont move a muscle, he said. You certainly dont say anything. Just let her finish her thought, take the knife out of the wall, butter the waffle. Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall join to his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

John Crist provided his hysterical take on kids named after biblical figures. The popular funnyman mentioned why people rarely, if ever, live up to their biblical namesakes. Watch the short and hilarious clip to listen to John explain why naming kids after biblical figures may not be the best idea. Being a parent is one of the biggest and best blessings anyone can ever receive. Adding a little one into your heart and household will forever change your life for the better in every possible way. There is simply nothing like raising a little one, and all the joy and love that comes with them. However, before that little one ever enters your home, something big and important happens to them. The parents give their new bundle of joy a name. Typically, this is something Mom and Dad have given much thought to, considering it will be with them for the rest of their lives. A lot of times, parents will turn to the Bible for help when searching for names for their newborn. A clip posted on YouTube explains why this is not always a good idea. In the video, John says that people rarely imitate and carry on the legacy of their namesakes, especially when that person was a towering, godly figure in the Bible. When it comes to people who have failed to live up to their biblical namesakes, he hilariously includes himself in that category. This is a true story, he said. I asked, Whyd you name me John? They said, We named you after John the Baptist. I go, Me? I dont think Im doing a very good job. John the Baptist, dude, this guy baptized Christ. Was martyred for his faith. I used a coupon at Wendys yesterday. Hilariously, he added that his nephew is named Malachi, who was also a biblical figure, and the similarities between the two are lacking. Malachi in the Bible, this man was a warrior, prophet, strong, he said. My nephew Malachi - extreme peanut allergy. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

John Crist hysterically calls out overdramatic biblical comparisons. The popular funnyman roasts people who state how their problems and situations are like those experienced by biblical figures who were persecuted, imprisoned and murdered. Watch the short and hilarious clip to listen to John shine a light on people who tend to exaggerate their problems. No ones life is perfect; most are likely far from it. We live in a fallen, broken and hurting world that has been destroyed and ruined by sin. Because of sins pervasive presence in our world, we all have problems and daily struggles some much bigger than others. Unfortunately, we will all experience deep, dark and painful valleys. However, for the most part, people in the United States of America are incredibly blessed, especially considering what some people in other countries face and experience. That is also true when it comes to what many people in the Bible faced, particularly those who were imprisoned, persecuted and even killed for their faith. Its doubtful well ever be treated like Paul, Job or Joseph. Despite that, people will still compare their problems to those of biblical figures who suffered greatly. In a clip posted on YouTube, John calls out people who believe, for whatever reason, that their typical, everyday issues can in any way be compared to those of people in the Bible. He specifically mentions his sister, her complaint about her coffee order and her cringeworthy comparison to Job. Please, like, read the Bible for inspiration and encouragement, he said. Like, let it guide your life, absolutely. But dont, just dont compare yourself to people in the Bible because were not like them, Ok? Its different, Ok? He adds how his sister reacted when her coffee order was messed up. My sister was like, John, you would not believe this. I went to Starbucks the other day, and my order was wrong, and I didnt realize it until I got to the office. Now, I just know, I understand what Job was going through. Later in the clip, he points out how his sister chose an odd Bible verse to display in her brand-new, custom-built home. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

Tim Hawkins has a hilarious, side-splitting reason why he loves mowing the lawn. The popular funnyman shared why cutting his grass is so calming and almost therapeutic for him. Watch the shot and hysterical clip to listen to Tim discuss why mowing the lawn is one of his favorite activities. Generally speaking, yard work is not a very enviable or desirable task on many peoples to-do lists. Yes, its one of those things that has to be done, like many other things that adults have to do. Yard work is done more so out of necessity and obligation, and not so much out of a want to or for enjoyment. However, while raking leaves or pruning the bushes isnt anyones idea of fun, there is something different about mowing the lawn. Many are likely to say that if they have to do work in the yard, they would rather have it be mowing the grass than almost anything else. Why? Well, its an opportunity to get away from everything and everyone for a few hours, depending on the size of your yard. In a clip posted on YouTube, Tim hilariously explains his love for mowing the grass and how he believes it to be better than therapy. He adds how it allows him to get rid of and work out some of his frustration and anger. We got about three acres where I live, you know? he said. And I got this, its called a Bad Boy Riding Lawnmower. Its awesome. Its zero-turn radius, 60-inch deck, triple-blade, liquid-cooled. It runs over everything. I run over tree stumps and fire hydrants. I dont spank my kids, but I dont move their toys in the yard when Im mowing, he added. You know what Im talking about? Thats therapy for a dad. Later in the clip, he imagines a hilarious scenario in which one of his children asks if he saw a toy he ran over in the yard. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Kevin James hysterically recapped what his doctor told him. The popular comedian and actor shared the diagnosis he received at the doctors office, and it will keep you laughing long after the clip comes to an end. Watch the short and hilarious clip to hear what Kevin had to say about the diagnosis he received from the doctor. Going to the doctors office is rarely, if ever, a fun time. Sure, your doctor may be a fun, outgoing person who provides excellent care and attention to your specific medical needs. Regardless of how good a person they are, a trip to the doctors office is never something anyone looks forward to with anticipation. Often, dread and anxiety are what we feel ahead of every doctors appointment. Those visits typically end with the physician informing us of any problems or issues they see and what we need to do to improve our healththe things everyone is dying to hear. Oh, and after receiving that depressing news and getting a mini lecture, we have to pay them handsomely for the visit. Is it really any wonder why people hate going to the doctor? In a clip posted on YouTube, Kevin mentions a trip to the doctors office, during which he was given a medical diagnosiskind of. Even after sharing his diagnosis with the audience, he still wasnt sure if he had a problem or not. Went to the doctor to get checked out, he said. He said everything looks really good. He goes, I do want to let you know, though, you are pre-diabetic. And I was like, Huh? Alright, who isnt, right? I mean, come on. Why would you even tell me that? Kevin then asked the doctor some follow-up questions, specifically if he has diabetes. The doctor answered, No. He then goes on a hilarious rant in which he correctly points out that we are all pre-dead. Were not dead yet, but we could and will be dead at some point. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be laughing, and cries will come from your lips.

Jim Gaffigans bit about an awkward gift from his wife is comedy gold. The popular funnyman shared what happened after his better half gave him a strange present, and what he says will leave you doubled over with laughter. Watch the short and hysterical clip to hear Jim Gaffigan discuss the unexpected gift his wife gave him. Everyone loves getting presents. This is a universal thing, something enjoyed by all. Yes, giving them and then sitting back and watching the other person light up when they open it is also good. But lets be honest, receiving gifts isnt half bad either. However, receiving gifts is not always the best, most enjoyable experience. Its been said that its not the gift that counts but the thought behind it that matters most. So, what is the thought behind someone gifting another person some deodorant, soap, shampoo or makeup? We all have a pretty good idea of what the giver is trying to say with those gifts. In a clip posted on YouTube, Jim received a similar gift from his wife. He shares that his wife purchased a scale for him. Yes, hilariously enough, his better half gifted him something to weigh himself. I didnt ask for it, he said. She gave it to me as a gift. I could never do something like that. Happy birthday, honey. I bought you a scale and some makeup. Just looking out for you, sweetie. Later in the clip, Jim shares how this wasnt just any scale but one that also came with an app because everything has to have an app today. Its a high-tech scale, he added. It comes with an app, so the government can know how overweight I am. I dont know why theres an app. Maybe so I can be the victim of ransomware? Pay up or were telling everyone how fat you are! Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Comedian Jeremy Nunes explains.

John Crist has strict rules for who gets a Christmas tree, and they're hilarious. Not everyone who wants to buy a tree from him will succeed; some will walk away empty-handed. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear why John isn't selling everyone a Christmas tree. Christmas is arguably the best time of the year. It is also a season and a holiday full of traditions. Nearly everything we do during the Christmas season is because of some annual tradition or a dearly held, cherished memory. One of those annual traditions, which many people partake in, involves putting a tree, often of the pine variety, in your house for the season. Of course, because so many people put up Christmas trees, finding a place to purchase one is incredibly easy. Immediately after Thanksgiving, Christmas tree lots begin sprouting up everywhere, as they all contend that they offer the best prices you'll find. However, in a clip posted on YouTube, purchasing a Christmas tree is not as easy as it may sound, at least when your salesman is John Crist. He will not sell one of those trees to just anybody. We've been selling Christmas trees at our church for a couple years now, he said. They hired me this year just to make sure, before people buy a tree, that they know that Jesus is the real reason for the season. So, I'm just kind of here, you know, making sure everybody's Christian. Later in the clip, he states people don't have a shot at a tree if he hears certain Christmas songs coming from their cars as they pull into the parking lot. Don't even put it in park, get out of it here, he says. The clip also shows John giving someone a Christmas questionnaire, testing whether she is worthy of buying a Christmas tree from him. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

Aaron Webers hat woes will have you laughing out loud. The funnyman shares why he has trouble finding a hat that fits him, and its absolutely hilarious. Watch the short and hilarious clip to hear the popular comedians hysterical take on his hat challenges. No two people are exactly 100 percent the same. How boring would life be if that were the case and we were all alike? No one wants that. God makes originals and is not in the business of creating replicas and carbon copies. People differ from one another in various ways. Our likes, dislikes, tastes and preferences will not always match up with someone elses. Additionally, while there may be slight similarities, our appearances are unique. You might resemble your mother or father in this way or that, but you dont look exactly like them. In a clip posted on YouTube, Aaron points out a way in which he is different from most people and uses it to great comedic effect. He uses self-depreciating humor to get the entire audience, and likely, anyone who happens to come across this clip, laughing hysterically. My head is big, he said. Heres how big my head is. I like to wear a hat. I like to wear a baseball hat. Theres only one brand of hat that fits my head. Its a New Era 59Fifty snapback hat. You all know a snapback? Itsnaps in the back. Later in the clip, he mentions how much he struggles even to get that hat to fit on his large noggin. On a good head day, I can maybe get one button to snap, he said. And it doesnt want to button, dude. Its like, Ill click on there, but Im not going to be good. And it hurts, and I got to take it off when I eat cause if I get chewing too hard. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

This John Crist skit about dads on road trips is hilariously accurate. Its abundantly clear that John went on plenty of family road trips while growing up. Watch this short and hysterical clip to hear how John 100 percent nails this skit about fathers on family road trips. Who doesnt love going on vacation? Is there anyone who can say, while keeping a straight face, that theyd rather go to work than get some rest and relaxation in a desired vacation spot? I would certainly think not, and thats likely something we can all agree on even in these polarized and highly divisive times. While the entire point of a vacation is to get away from concern and worry, there is still stress associated with vacations, especially if youre a father on a family road trip. Dads, for whatever reason, seem to be entirely concerned about getting to the destination as quickly as possible. They want to make good time, looking to cut out any and all unnecessary stops. In a clip posted on YouTube, John plays every father on every family road trip ever. Anyone who has ever been on a family road trip will 100 percent relate to this hysterical clip, and they will likely recognize many of the lines he says throughout the short video. While filling up the gas tank, John lays down the law, telling everyone what will happen from this moment forward. He wants to make the best time possible. The traffic is killing us, he says. We just need to make better time, honestly. I mean, theres some tractor-trailers that Ive been following pretty closely behind just to get the drafting but were losing gas mileage. He then states that no more liquids will be consumed because he doesnt want to make any more bathroom stops. He also offers a quick solution for anyone who does have to use the restroom. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Nate Bargatzes take on his daughters dream job is comedy gold. The popular funnyman had some things to say about what his daughter wants to do when she grows up. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear Nate talk about the job his daughter hopes to do when she gets older. Most children love to talk, whether someone is listening or not. To every parent, this is not some new, surprise revelation that will forever change how people parent children. If you were to ask parents, most would probably agree that children talk a little too much, so much so that their incessant talking gets on their parents nerves. One of the many things youngsters like to discuss is what they want to do when they grow up. They will tell everyone about their career goals, even those who dont ask. Children will say they want to do this or do that, and if you ask them the next day, youll likely get a different answer. Of course, the point is that all children enjoy thinking and talking about their future, especially regarding their future job. In a clip posted on YouTube, Nate talks about what his daughter wants to do and has some hilarious thoughts on her career goals. He shares that, like many children, she wants to become a YouTuber. But hes not really into that idea. She wants to be a YouTuber, which, as a comedian, makes me furious, Nate said. She watches all these kid YouTube videos, and now she makes her own videos. Later in the clip, Nate shares what these videos consist of and even talks about her subscribers. Its just her sitting there going, Hey guys, whats going on? Click the links below, subscribe, leave a comment, he said. None of this is anywhere but my phone. I got 90 hours of this. Not on YouTube. Me and her mom are the only subscribers. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

Jim Gaffigan made and shared some side-splitting observations about Wheel of Fortune. The popular funnyman will have you laughing hysterically with his spot-on comments about the long-running game show. Watch the short and hilarious clip to hear what Jim Gaffigan had to say about Wheel of Fortune and its former host, Pat Sajak. Typically, television shows do not last long. A show that lasts two to three seasons is likely a big success. Given the considerable expense associated with producing a television show and the incredible amount of competition from places like Netflix, Hulu and Apple+, if shows dont find their audience quickly, they are pulled off the air. A show that manages to last decades is not the norm for sure. Shows like The Price is Right, Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune are rare, beating the odds to become beloved game shows. In a clip posted on YouTube, Jim shares some thoughts and hilarious observations about one of those popular, long-running programs. In the video, Jim recognizes that many people in the entertainment field are grossly overpaid for jobs that anyone could do. However, he then makes comments dripping in sarcasm that some people, like former Wheel of Fortune host Pat Sajak, are rightly paid the big bucks for their unique skills. Was there anything Pat Sajak couldnt do? Think about this. He was the host of Wheel of Fortune He was like a Renaissance man, Jim says, as he has trouble coming up with anything else to add to Pats list of skills and accomplishments. Later, Jim adds how he would have liked to have been in the room when Pat announced his retirement to the shows staff. I would have been like, You know this isnt a real job, right? You dont get to retire from playing hangman. The appropriate thing to do is apologize and give back all the money, he said. The clip ends with Jim mentioning that Pat has continued to work on the show in a consulting role, which does sound odd when the entire show consists of people saying letters for half an hour. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

A comedians marriage advice has everyone laughing and nodding. Jeff Allen, the funnyman, shares the simple but insightful words of wisdom he has learned during two decades of marriage with the audience. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear what Jeff says about happy marriages. Marriage is not easy. Anyone who believes otherwise is either a fool, a liar or unmarried. Marriage requires both parties to put in much time, work and energy. Both individuals must be 100 percent committed to marriage, or its just not going to work at all. Work, commitment and perseverance are all necessary for a successful marriage. However, Jeff has a much simpler, albeit similar, recipe for a happy, long-lasting marriage and is sharing his wisdom with the masses. He confesses that his insight on marriage originally came from his father, but he has since learned that his father was accurate. In a clip posted on YouTube, Jeff shared advice that everyone, especially husbands, should remember and implement. I have only learned one thing in 20 years of marriage, and its this: Happy life. Happy wife, he said. If youre married, you already know that. If youre not married, you better write it down. Not on some flimsy piece of paper. You got out and get a stone tablet and a chisel. Be number 11 if you count them. While its likely words of wisdom that youve heard many times before, and it is humorous, making the point that no matter what happens, the husband is wrong, it makes a lot of sense. No one wants to be in a relationship with constant strife and disagreement. That would be absolutely miserable for everyone involved, and no way to go through life. If settling an argument and keeping peace means someone has to agree that they are wrong, then so be it, right? Genesis 2:24 For this cause will a man go away from his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they will be one flesh.

This comedians $11 rental car bit has everyone laughing. Its surprising what that small amount of money will get when renting a car. Watch this short but hysterical clip to learn just how far $11 goes when you rent a car. As you have probably already discovered, money is a finite and limited resource. Because of that, everyone wants to make their money go as far as possible. We work hard for that money and want to make sure that our money works hard for us as well. Thats why finding the most efficient ways to spend our dough is always a good idea. Despite our desire to hold onto as much of our hard-earned money as possible, given the current state of the world, that is a tall order. Everywhere you look, prices are up a considerable amount. The price of everything continues to increase at an alarming rate, making holding onto our money quite the challenge. However, surprisingly, a handful of things can still be obtained for a bargain. In a clip posted on YouTube, a comedian, John Joseph, mentions the incredible deal he learned about when renting a car. Once you recover from all the laughing, you likely wont ever look at rental cars the same way. I drove here in a rent-a-car, he said. Had less than a 100 miles on it brand-new car. Cost me $46 bucks for the day, $46. For $11 extra, you could total it. Later in the clip, John adds what you can do with the rental after shelling out that extra $11. You cant get a drink in some bars for $11, he said. But you pay $11 insurance on a brand-new rent-a-car, you can leave that car on a railroad track. Sit across the street with a couple of pals, watch the train smash through that car, call a 1-800 number, and someone will bring you another new car. While Johns bit is uproariously funny, I wouldnt suggest trying that if you were to buy the insurance the next time you rent a car. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.